Bitch Lasagna but it’s a RECIPE
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If you like dank memes, you’ll like bitch lasagna.
In case you aren’t up to date with the trends on the internet – there’s a war going on between Pewdiepie and T-Series on Youtube.
The sub gap is closing, and it’s inevitable Pewds will be passed by in subscribers sooner rather than later. This recipe is in solidarity with the rest of the internet to keep Pewdiepie as the most subscribed Youtube channel – so do your part and subscribe to Pewdiepie.
Oh and, me too – while you’re at it.
Even nine-year-olds can have good taste in food. This bitch lasagna soup takes all the best parts of lasagna with a quarter of the effort a real lasagna takes – which means you can get back to shitposting on Reddit and playing Fornite before your 8pm bedtime.
I know you aren’t old enough to use the oven. Technically you’re not old enough to use the internet.
But thats okay. As long as you aren’t out there subscribing to T-series and copy striking channels, you’re cool in my book.
Bitch Lasagna but it’s a RECIPE
Ingredients
- 10 small meatballs raw or prepared thawed
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- ½ cup onion finely chopped
- ½ cup green bell pepper finely chopped
- 2 tablespoons tomato paste
- 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
- 2 tablespoons garlic minced
- ½ tablespoon paprika
- 1 tablespoon basil
- 1 tablespoon oregano
- 1 tablespoon thyme
- 14.5 oz (1 can) tomato sauce
- 8 oz (1 can) diced tomatoes
- ½ teaspoon sea salt
- ½ teaspoon pepper
- 10 lasagna noodles
- 4 cups beef broth
- ½ cup cottage cheese
- 1 cup Parmesan cheese shredded
- 4 slices fresh mozzarella ball
- fresh basil for topping
Instructions
- In a large pot over medium high heat, drizzle the olive oil in an thin layer across the bottom. Heat until the olive oil is shimmering. Add the meatballs to the pot and sear on all sides, until browned evenly. It's okay if the meatballs are not cooked through. Remove the meatballs from the pot and set aside.
- Without cleaning the pot, add the onions and saute until tender, about 5 minutes. Then add the green peppers and cook until just browned, another 4-5 minutes.
- Stir in the tomato paste. Cook for 4-5 minutes, until the tomato paste is mixed into the onions and peppers. Deglaze the pot with a splash of apple cider vinegar.
- Add the minced garlic and cook another 2-3 minutes, until the garlic is fragrant. Stir in the paprika, basil, oregano and thyme.
- Pour the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes into the pot. Heat 4-5 minutes until just simmering. Season generously with salt and pepper.
- Break the lasagna noodles into the pot. Stir until the pieces are coated in the tomato sauce. Return the meatballs to the pot. Then pour in the beef broth.
- Bring to a rolling simmer and cook for 15-20 minutes, until the noodles are just al dente.
- When the noodles are al dente, stir in the cottage cheese until it is melty. Continue to cook simmer on medium heat until the noodles are cooked tender, another 15-20 minutes.
- Ladle the soup into individual crocks. Sprinkle an even layer of cheese over the top of the soup. Place two slices of mozzarella (or however many it takes to cover the top of the crock) on top. Broil for 5-10 minutes on the lowest broil setting, until the mozzarella is golden, bubbly and melted.
- Cool the crocks for 15 minutes prior to serving. Garnish the soup with fresh basil leaves and serve with crusty french bread. Enjoy!
