Bitch Lasagna Soup Inspired by PewDiePie
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What’s Up, Hungry People
If you like dank memes, you’ll love this recipe for Pewdiepie’s “Bitch Lasagna.” In case you aren’t up to date with internet trends, there’s a war going on between Pewdiepie and T-Series on YouTube. The sub gap is closing, and it’s inevitable that Pewds will be passed by in subscribers sooner rather than later. This recipe is in solidarity with the rest of the internet to keep Pewdiepie as the most subscribed YouTube channel, so do your part and subscribe to Pewdiepie.
Oh, and subscribe to The Starving Chef on Youtube too—while you’re at it.
Even nine-year-olds can have good taste in food. This “Bitch Lasagna” soup takes all the best parts of lasagna with a quarter of the effort a real lasagna takes, which means you can get back to shitposting on Reddit and playing Fortnite before your 8pm bedtime. I know you aren’t old enough to use the oven. Technically, you’re not old enough to use the internet. But that’s okay. As long as you aren’t out there subscribing to T-Series and copy-striking channels, you’re cool in my book.
Here’s What You Need
- Meatballs: Add a hearty, meaty texture.
- Olive oil: For sautéing and adding richness.
- Onion: Provides a savory base flavor.
- Green bell pepper: Adds sweetness and a slight crunch.
- Tomato paste: Intensifies the tomato flavor.
- Apple cider vinegar: Adds a tangy kick.
- Garlic: Brings depth and aroma.
- Paprika: Adds a smoky flavor.
- Basil: Brings a sweet, herbaceous note.
- Oregano: Provides a robust, earthy flavor.
- Thyme: Adds a subtle, woodsy taste.
- Tomato sauce: Creates the base for the soup.
- Diced tomatoes: Adds texture and acidity.
- Sea salt: Enhances all the flavors.
- Pepper: Adds a bit of heat.
- Lasagna noodles: Gives the soup its lasagna-like feel.
- Beef broth: Deepens the flavor of the soup.
- Cottage cheese: Adds creaminess and richness.
- Parmesan cheese: For a nutty, salty finish.
- Fresh mozzarella ball: Melts beautifully on top.
- Fresh basil: For a fresh, finishing touch.
Let’s Cook
In a large pot over medium-high heat, drizzle the olive oil in a thin layer across the bottom. Heat until the olive oil is shimmering. Add the meatballs to the pot and sear on all sides until browned evenly. It’s okay if the meatballs are not cooked through. Remove the meatballs from the pot and set them aside.
Sautéing the Veggies
Without cleaning the pot, add the onions and sauté until tender, about 5 minutes. Then add the green bell peppers and cook until just browned, another 4-5 minutes. Stir in the tomato paste and cook for 4-5 minutes until the tomato paste is mixed into the onions and peppers. Deglaze the pot with a splash of apple cider vinegar.
Building the Flavor
Add the minced garlic and cook another 2-3 minutes until the garlic is fragrant. Stir in the paprika, basil, oregano, and thyme. Pour the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes into the pot. Heat for 4-5 minutes until just simmering. Season generously with salt and pepper.
Bringing It All Together
Break the lasagna noodles into pieces and add them to the pot. Stir until the pieces are coated in the tomato sauce. Return the meatballs to the pot, then pour in the beef broth. Bring to a rolling simmer and cook for 15-20 minutes until the noodles are just al dente.
Adding the Cheese
When the noodles are al dente, stir in the cottage cheese until it is melty. Continue to simmer on medium heat until the noodles are tender, another 15-20 minutes. Ladle the soup into individual crocks. Sprinkle an even layer of Parmesan cheese over the top of the soup. Place two slices of mozzarella (or however many it takes to cover the top of the crock) on top. Broil for 5-10 minutes on the lowest broil setting until the mozzarella is golden, bubbly, and melted.
Finishing Touches
Cool the crocks for 15 minutes before serving. Garnish the soup with fresh basil leaves and serve with crusty Swedish bread.
Tips for Perfect Bitch Lasagna
- Searing the Meatballs: Make sure to get a good sear on the meatballs. It adds a lot of flavor to the soup.
- Deglazing the Pot: Don’t skip the deglazing step with apple cider vinegar. It lifts all those tasty bits from the bottom of the pot.
- Cooking the Noodles: Be sure to stir the noodles well to prevent them from sticking together.
- Melting the Cheese: Keep an eye on the broiler! Mozzarella can go from perfect to burnt in a flash.
- Serving: Let the crocks cool for a bit before serving to avoid any burnt tongues and to let the flavors meld together.
There you have it, folks. This ironic recipe for Pewdiepie’s “bitch lasagna” soup is the ultimate way to show your support for the king of YouTube while enjoying a ridiculously tasty meal. It’s packed with all the lasagna goodness you love but requires way less effort, giving you more time to binge-watch Pewdiepie videos or shitposting on Reddit. Whether you’re a seasoned cook or just someone who loves memes, this recipe is sure to hit the spot. Remember, every bowl of this delicious soup is a step towards keeping Pewdiepie on top. Enjoy, and don’t forget to subscribe to Pewdiepie!
Bitch Lasagna but it’s a RECIPE
Ingredients
- 10 small meatballs raw or prepared thawed
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- ½ cup onion finely chopped
- ½ cup green bell pepper finely chopped
- 2 tablespoons tomato paste
- 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
- 2 tablespoons garlic minced
- ½ tablespoon paprika
- 1 tablespoon basil
- 1 tablespoon oregano
- 1 tablespoon thyme
- 14.5 oz (1 can) tomato sauce
- 8 oz (1 can) diced tomatoes
- ½ teaspoon sea salt
- ½ teaspoon pepper
- 10 lasagna noodles
- 4 cups beef broth
- ½ cup cottage cheese
- 1 cup Parmesan cheese shredded
- 4 slices fresh mozzarella ball
- fresh basil for topping
Instructions
- In a large pot over medium-high heat, drizzle the olive oil in a thin layer across the bottom. Heat until the olive oil is shimmering. Add the meatballs to the pot and sear on all sides until browned evenly. It's okay if the meatballs are not cooked through. Remove the meatballs from the pot and set aside.
- Without cleaning the pot, add the onions and sauté until tender, about 5 minutes. Then add the green bell peppers and cook until just browned, another 4-5 minutes.
- Stir in the tomato paste. Cook for 4-5 minutes until the tomato paste is mixed into the onions and peppers. Deglaze the pot with a splash of apple cider vinegar.
- Add the minced garlic and cook another 2-3 minutes until the garlic is fragrant. Stir in the paprika, basil, oregano, and thyme.
- Pour the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes into the pot. Heat for 4-5 minutes until just simmering. Season generously with salt and pepper.
- Break the lasagna noodles into the pot. Stir until the pieces are coated in the tomato sauce. Return the meatballs to the pot. Then pour in the beef broth.
- Bring to a rolling simmer and cook for 15-20 minutes until the noodles are just al dente.
- When the noodles are al dente, stir in the cottage cheese until it is melty. Continue to cook, simmer on medium heat until the noodles are cooked tender, another 15-20 minutes.
- Ladle the soup into individual crocks. Sprinkle an even layer of Parmesan cheese over the top of the soup. Place two slices of mozzarella (or however many it takes to cover the top of the crock) on top. Broil for 5-10 minutes on the lowest broil setting, until the mozzarella is golden, bubbly, and melted.
- Cool the crocks for 15 minutes prior to serving. Garnish the soup with fresh basil leaves and serve with crusty Swedish bread. Enjoy!
