“It’s no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

It’s time for another foray into Middle Earth to seek out the best recipes found throughout the realms. I have loved the Lord of the Rings series since I was about ten; primed by the release of The Fellowship of the Ring in 2001, I even went as far as to read all of the books in the triology – plus The Hobbit and pieces of The Silmarillion – before I was even in junior high.

So to say that I love Lord of the Rings almost as much as I love Harry Potter is no understatement. I spent a majority of my childhood blending the two worlds in my own fantastical backyard – often pretending to be an arrow-toting, potions making, Hobbit-esque flower child that I pretty much grew up to embody as an adult (minus the arrows).

I actually can’t believe it has taken me so long to take a dive into the fictional feasts of Middle Earth – food and LOTR go hand-and-hand. Tolkien loved describing his worlds, and especially used depictions of food to fill-in the scene and create lively atmosphere in his stories.

“I am in fact a Hobbit in all but size. I like gardens, trees, and unmechanised farmlands. I smoke a pipe, and I like good, plain food- unrefrigerated. I detest French cooking.”
J.R.R. Tolkien

We have that in common, Mr. Tolkien.

Concerning Hobbits

Hobbits especially had an appreciation for food – and also for partying. Often keeping a stash of goodies tucked away for second breakfast, midnight snack or unexpected company…

This cheese board is based on all things Hobbits would enjoy: crusty bread, homemade butters, sweet jams, cheeses, fresh fruits and more.

Plus there’s a few exotic bits and bobs that would have been gathered on various adventures.

Making “Shirecuterie” aka a Cheese Board fit for Hobbits

Finding all the tasty tidbits to put on your cheese board is an adventure in and of itself.

Here are the best fingerfoods you can snack on while (re)watching Lord of the Rings.

lembas bread – find my recipe for Elvish bread here!
boiled potatoes, mashed potatoes, potato stew shooters – potatoes three ways recipe here!
orc jerky
Smeagol’s sashimi toasts – get the recipe here!
Gollum’s rabbit tartine – find the recipe here!
crusty bread
wild boar saucisson
sliced ham & summer sausage
salted eggs
grapes & gooseberries
blackberries, raspberries & strawberries
homemade butter
assorted jams & jellies (sweet & spicy)
dried fruits & nuts
cucumber & fresh veggies
crackers
assorted regional cheeses

Feel free to add your own favorite Lord of the Rings inspired treats to your Shirecuterie board as well! Hobbits do constantly surprise, afterall.

PO-TAY-TOES

Any fan of Lord of the Rings is now singing that song. For my board, I made potatoes in three different styles, just as Samwise would if he were to be making a cheese board for the Fellowship.

Meat’s Back on the Menu, Boys!

I utilized my local butcher to find homemade jerky. One is sweet – the other is insanely spicy. It’s gnarly appearance always reminded me of something an orc would tuck away in a sheep skin pouch.

Gollum vs Smeagol

If you are at all familiar with the folks of Middle Earth, then you would know that Gollum and Smeagol are the same character, just split personalities. Represented here as a rabbit tartine and sashimi toast – both croustinis are based off iconic scenes in LOTR.

What else would you put on your Shirecuterie board? Let me know down in the comments below!

Shoutout to my hubby for custom building the wooden charcuterie board and Hobbit door, specifically for this recipe! Check out his woodworking Instagram @ChuckandMoonbeam